How we learn our lessons

There is a story of someone who was a happy go lucky driver. He drove through red lights when no one was looking, took short cuts against one way street traffic, double parked, didn't care for speed limits, cuts queue whenever there's a long line. When reminded, he would say "Aiyah, everybody does it. What's the big deal?" The honks and stares of other drivers would not deter him one bit.

One night, there was a knock on the door. It was a team of 6 policemen. "Encik ada 15 saman, sudah 2 tahun tak bayar. Mari ikut kami pergi balai". (Sir, you have 15 summons unpaid for 2 years. Please follow us to the station).

After pleading unsuccessfully and left with no choice, he was bundled into a waiting police van with reporters clicking their cameras at him. He spent the next many hours at the police station as his wife and relatives frantically sought to get his release. He was released after being ordered to appear in court the next day.

That was not the end. A few months after he pleaded guilty to the judge and paid a huge fine, the old habits started again. More summons were forgotten soon as they came, another operasi a year later got him hauled up, he went to court again and paid another big fine. And out he walked again, ready to make an illegal u-turn for another day.

There are many such people in our society. Caught many times but still do it. It makes you think, WHY don't they learn?

My answer is simple. Not enough pain. Each one of us has a unique threshhold of pain before something registers. For some, it just takes a few words of advice. For others, nothing less then the amputation of a limb will do. As long as the pain you apply to someone does not exceed his threshhold, it will not register and he will continue to do what he does.

Actually when it comes to traffic violations, its not that hard to escape the consequences. There's always bribes. A shopkeeper can increase his prices because "harga barang-arang naik" to compensate for his summons, letting you contribute to his misdeeds fund. Banned from driving? No problem. Go back to step 1 or step 2.

For us people, it does look like lessons are inseparably linked to pain. You've heard of the old saying spare the rod spoil the child. What might surprise you is that it works for adults too. It is useful to know that for every misdeed you see out there, be it traffic, financial, Tiger Woods type sexual, political, you know it happens only because people's threshhold of pain hasn't been crossed. It also tells you that more pain is needed before you see change.

We are like uncut diamonds where only the hardest abrasives can clean us of our sharp offensive edges. The question for us adults is, who will apply the pain?